Being Happy … Through Exhaustion, Frustration, Mindfulness … having it all! But how can you be happy while living through frustrating times?!


Being Happy … it’s tough out there … and ‘in here’!!!

I’m still thinking about ‘being happy’ but more specifically, I am thinking about how I can be happy while exhausted, a little ill (I seem to be catching any flue or cold bug available at the moment!)  and … a bit frustrated!


I have been training and training and training (and training some more) over the last few weeks.  So, in a typical week I am presenting Motivational Interviewing, the next day it is Time Managment and then … I’m presenting on Conflict Management.  And I find all of those subjects fascinating.   But I’m exhausted at the same time.  AND in addition to my training in the back of my mind I am conscious that I want to grow my business.  AND because training is all consuming, I have few brain cells to spare for thinking and planning and moving it on.


So, am I happy or am I frustrated.  Of course, it’s a little of both.   So, as I muse, I have found that the interesting thing about where I am right now is that through using mindfulness I allow myself  to be both.  And I will be honest here … that simply was not possible for me in the past.  In the past I would have lost the balance between NOW activities and FUTURE aspirations by feeling sorry for myself and going over and over my feelings, my frustrations and my ‘lack of’.


I recently came across a quote from Sonja Lyubomirsky’s excellent book, ‘The How of Happiness’ which I think sums up a bit of wonderful wisdom … wisdom that allows me to stay happy, mindful and connected.   Many of us believe that when we feel down, we should try to focus inwardly and evaluate our feelings and our situation in order to attain self-insight and find solutions that might ultimately resolve our problems and relieve unhappiness.  … Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that to the contrary, overthinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a person’s ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative. Moreover, although people have a strong sense that they are gaining insight into themselves and their problems during their ruminations, this is rarely the case. What they do gain is a distorted, pessimistic perspective on their lives.



One of the tensions with ‘being happy’ — at least for me — is the tension between constructive attempts at greater self-awareness and pointless rumination. Once I started paying more attention to my habits of thinking, I began to do a better job of refraining from overthinking. When I find myself thinking in circles, I look at the world I live in … for me nature grounds me every time.  It took me a while to find that nature was my way of being grounded.  I tried a lot of things and nothing satisfies me quite like being able to go for a walk … or when I am super busy, I just look out a window.



PLEASE, refrain from too much ‘over thinking’ and  begin to find what grounds you.  Go back and look at my post about mindfulness and try it out.  Find that area of refuge.  You owe it to yourself and your dreams.

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